"Letters to Eliza" is a tale of love. Letter No. 13

Eliza,
Today I will write to you about death. Why do you think about her constantly and torment the nights full of secrets until the end? I know that you are not afraid of your own death, but of the death of those without whom it will no longer be the same as before. You shed tears, mourning the grief that has not yet happened, turning many magical moments into tattered fear. You look into the future with murmur and disbelief. Sometimes you are so afraid of attachment. Because of death, you are afraid of love. You miss the carelessness of those days that rushed skipping, through the thickets of lilac bushes with their intoxicating smell, sleepless nights waiting for New Year's gifts, the charm of everything that, as it seems to you, cannot be returned. Once you suddenly realized the futility and comingness of everything, the fragility of embraces, the corruption of touch. My poor Eliza, you are completely confused. Death is just a step, one of many, believe me. This step has everything - from the suffocation of the first days to calmness and purity. And for those others that you love so much, this step, when it comes, will be a wonderful and wonderful journey, a return, a mysterious realization. Take comfort, Eliza, do not be afraid of death. Fear the joylessness of life and endless longing. You know, even death can bring you and me closer, but I really want to believe that we will get closer a lot earlier.

Anastasia Volkhovskaya